


The Yellow Haired Assassin

by ButterflyBbobbo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alpha Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Beta Kim Mingyu, Gang Rape, Hurt/Comfort, Josh and Jeonghan are beta's, M/M, Minor Character Death, More tags will be added as the story progresses, Multi, Not Beta Read, Omega Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Burn, Vernon - Hoshi - Junhui - Minghao are omega's, Wonwoo - Seungkwan - DK and Chan are alpha's, but it won't be the exact same as the movie, chan is jihoon's little brother, chan is living in busan but once he finds out what happened to jihoon he moves to seoul, cheol and gyu help jihoon alot, jihoon takes matters into his own hands, lapslock, m/m/m relationship, mingyu is an officer, other members will be mentioned from different groups, seungcheol is his coworker, the three main won't get together right away, this is inspired by a movie, wonwoo and soonyoung are jihoon's best friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-07-17 19:00:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16101821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyBbobbo/pseuds/ButterflyBbobbo
Summary: jihoon was walking home when he was assaulted by three men. after trying to report the assault, he was criticized by an officer. weeks go by, when news broke out that an omega was found beaten, sexually assaulted and pronounced doa. he followed the story closely, keeping tabs on more news reports, and the comments that were made on each article.weeks later another report was made of a teen girl, who hasn't presented (but was suspected to be either a beta or omega) found in a ditch bound, beat, and raped with a suspect in mind of who committed the crimes.jihoon does his own research and tracks the rapist/murderer down.his first kill brought him to his knees, hacking up his drink.his second kill was more bearable.by his third kill he shut his mind off, and handed himself over to the monster that was within him...will jihoon be stopped? no...not until he finds his attackers...





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> so...yes...this was inspired by a movie i watched just a couple of hours ago. inspiration from there hit and i just couldn't stop writing. this will have multiple chapters, and i'm unsure of when it'll end but updates will be slow. 
> 
> this is also my first a/b/o fic and my first seventeen fic. 
> 
> question of the chapter. (i will be asking a question at each end note)
> 
> what song got you into Seventeen? 
> 
> also poke me or message me at my fanfic tumblr, bbfanfics.tumblr.com (I still can't hotlink ;0;) or to simply keep up with updates! (it just gives me an excuse to use tumblr again hahahaha...i need a life...)

jihoon huffed into his hands, trying to warm them up.

 ‘dammit’ he thought to himself as another cool breeze chills his body even more. it really wasn’t his day or night.

 to begin, he woke up late, missed the bus and the last muffin was sold to an ungrateful jerk who had complained that the muffin was cold. when he got to work his boss gave him an earful about ‘tardiness’.

 and to boot, he put on the first things his hands came in contact...missing the most vital clothing accessories. gloves and a scarf.

 you see. lee jihoon isn’t your typical adult. he stood only at 165 cm, the appearance of a preteen honestly. but he was 24 years old, with a credit card, a pretty nice apartment, and a car that he adored, even if it needed constant care and coaxing (and pleading if it was a bad day) but it’s his first vehicle, and he has some pretty fond memories with the car.

 but he was also an omega. he lived close to his closest friends, friends who he’d consider family. but an omega living in a city alone? many would call him stupid, brave but stupid.

 ‘just one more day and tammy will be out’ he thinks to himself. tammy, yes his car, was undergoing ‘surgery’ as he likes to think of it as, after she stuttered to a stop about an hours walk away from his apartment. he had some serious talk with tammy, (read: cursed her out) before he apologized and called for wonwoo to come and pick him up.

 he was so caught up in his thoughts that he failed to hear the footsteps getting closer and closer to him before he felt a cloth cover his mouth, and an arm wrapping around his waist, dragging him into an alley between two closed stores.

 his screams were muffled, a growly deep voice telling him to shut up and to stop struggling.

 that only made him fight harder. he kicked, scratched, bit and punched when he could, before he felt two pairs of hands holding his own down.

 “you stupid bitch! that shit hurts!” the leader said, backhanding jihoon.

 jihoon stopped struggling, disoriented and terrified. ‘not me...why me? not me please, not me’ he thought, another punch being landed on the side of his head, temporarily knocking him out.

 slowly coming to, all jihoon could feel and _smell_ was pain, blood and their strong pheromones. two betas and an alpha. the blood must be from him...he whimpered at a harsh thrust, the impact shunting his body across the harsh pavement.

 the pain was unbearable. he could feel blood leaking down onto his thigh. he wanted to scream, cry for help but he only pleaded for them to stop. one after another. the alpha, the first beta, then the second beta.

 why him? he considered himself a decent person, he tipped the waiters and waitresses well, he recycled, he put his trash in the garbage, volunteered at the local children’s hospital, and helped the elderly when they needed it.

 why him?

 

why him?

 

_why me?_

 after what felt like hours, the last beta pulled out of him, the trio laughing and jeering at each other.

 jihoon knew that once he got to the police station, he’d have to remember them. what they looked like, what they wore. he was pretty sure he had enough dna from the alpha after scratching at his cheek and ripping a few strands of his hair out of his pathetic head.

 he looked closely at them, the alpha was tall, well built and had cherry red hair. a scar over his eyebrow and an apple cinnamon scent. he shuddered...he wasn’t going to want anything apple for a long long time.

 the first beta was shorter, taller than him by maybe 10 cm...he had black coiffed hair that looked naturally wavey. he had a tattoo of a snake on his arm, from what jihoon could remember.

 the last beta was the tallest of them all. 189-190 cm, stark grey eyes with dirty blonde hair and pale skin. those eyes he’d remember.

 he took in every feature, and remembered the names that were said. gyo, sanggyun and tim.

 

tiredly, jihoon turned to his side, whimpering when his torn bottom twinged with pain. he gagged when he felt their fluids trickle out of his entrance and down his buttock.

 after the trio left, jihoon broke down.

 

_why me?_

  
after some time...minutes, hours, who knows, jihoon got up, painfully pulling his pants on, ignoring the blood and semen dripping down his thighs. he slowly made his way to the nearest police station, which was a painful 20 minute walk.

 every sound, every person put jihoon on edge. would they hurt him next? were those guys coming back to kill him? he was shaking with anxiety.

 he go weird looks but no one bothered to help the disheveled looking omega.

 the sign that announced the station eventually became visible to jihoon, the big bold letters reading “Seoul Police Department.”

 he pushed the front door open, the long hallway looking quite daunting. ‘you can do this jihoon, you gotta do this.’ he thought, limping to the end and bumping into a shaggy looking man. he flinched and let out a small whimper.

 the guy kept walking.

 he couldn’t do this. he couldn’t. what if they didn’t believe him? what if they turned him away?

 just as he was about to go into a full blown panic attack, a hand was placed on his shoulder. jihoon cried out and backed himself into the wall, sliding down and hiding his head.

 “sir! you’re okay! i won’t harm you!” a husky voice said, sounding shocked.

 jihoon looked up, and sobbed with relief. a police officer. he read the name tag. kim mingyu it said.

 officer kim held a hand out to jihoon and helped him up. “how can i help you sir?” he asked, guiding him to his desk.

 how was he going to start?

 should he just blurt it out? before it all began?

 “i was walking home from work...someone grabbed me from behind and dragged me to an alley...there were three...they...they raped me…” jihoon choked back a sob, eyes watery but tears weren’t falling. enough were shed in that alley.

 he watched as mingyu’s face went from polite interest to shock as jihoon recounted every detail of the assault.

 “hah! i call bullshit.” a gruff looking man snorted from across the room. “what rape victim remembers every detail of their attacker? what? did your boyfriend break up with your dramatic ass? and you’re claiming rape by him and his two friends?” the man said.

 “can it gong! mr lee remembering every detail is vital if we want to catch them, not every victim cries wolf you dick!” officer kim exclaims, sounding rather offended on jihoon’s behalf.

 jihoon stiffened, avoiding eye contact with officer gong. did people really claim to be raped, but weren’t really?

 he felt like he couldn’t breathe...this was exactly what he feared would happen.

 “ignore him, mr lee. is that all you can remember?” officer kim said, slowly growing concerned when the tears started rolling down jihoon’s cheeks.

 “i understand that this is hard for you, mr lee. but we’re going to have to take you to the hospital to get some tests done. they’re going to do some swabs, to take semen samples so we can put them in our data and see if they match anyone known to the police.” officer kim said.

 jihoon couldn’t do this.

 “i feel ill.” he choked out, a trash can just barely being handed to him before he regurgitated his light snack.

 he put the trash can down before standing up and basically running out of the police station. he ignored officer gong’s sneers, and officer kim’s pleas for him to return.

 how many reports had gone unheard due to an officer like gong?

 his mind was reeling from the turn of unfortunate events. today really wasn’t his day.

 he pulled out his phone, which somehow yet thankfully went without getting cracked or broken during the minor altercation with gyo, the alpha.

he dialed wonwoo’s number, bringing it to his ear. it took five rings, the older must have been sleeping, but he thankfully answered.

 “what’s up, hoonie?” he asked sleepily.

 "wonu...can you come pick me up please?” jihoon replied, walking to the nearest bus stop. it was 24:40. the last bus stopped operating ten minutes prior. he sniffled and wrapped an arm around his stomach, gagging once again before puking the last of his snack.

 “hoon?” wonwoo’s alarmed voice sounded through his phone, the rustling of fabric being heard. “hoon, tell me where you are, i’ll be there as soon as possible.” he said.

 they had this unsaid pact, that if they were too upset, they’ll tell each other through text. so they both hung up, and jihoon took several photos of the street name, the closest store and the bus station number.

 he opened wonwoo’s contact number and sent him the photo’s.

‘please hurry’

 it said

 he curled up on the bench. his stomach turned at every sound, the hairs on his neck and arms stood on end when someone would walk by.

 before he could lose himself to his thoughts a car stopped next to him. it was wonwoo with junhui and soonyoung.

 jihoon broke down for what seemed like the tenth time and stood up, holding his arms out for soonyoung, who hopped out of the car and wrapped the smaller male in his arms.

 jihoon buried his face in soonyoung’s chest, holding onto the elder like his life depended on it.

 the three hadn’t seen their friend like this before, had never seen him so broken, so distant. what could have happened to their strong friend for him to be _crying_ like this? “hoon, let’s get you in the car, you’re fucking freezing.” he said, guiding the younger to wonwoo’s car

 junhui opened the car door for the two, while wonwoo cranked the heat up. soonyoung helped jihoon into the car, who had whimpered in pain.

 the three of his friends looked at each other. the light in the car couldn’t provide the proper lighting. but something was seriously wrong with jihoon.

 soonyoung climbed in after jihoon, and junhui shut the door before getting in himself while wonwoo started his car. the ride went by in a blur, jihoon was resting his head on his friends chest. they were silent, the older three waiting for jihoon to tell them what happened, and why he was so far away from home.

 when they finally made it to their apartment complex, they helped jihoon into wonwoo and junhui’s shared apartment, the alpha grabbing several blankets and wrapping jihoon in them while his partner went to go make tea for everyone.

 “hoon...what happened?” soonyoung asks hesitantly. he was hoping the younger was mugged, which would explain the cut on his cheek and the swelling of his eye.

 now that they were inside they were able to get a proper look at their best friend. he was beaten pretty bad, blood smeared on his cheek, dried up at the corner of his lip, black eye growing to an alarming rate.

 jihoon was silent for a long time, before he was able to explain what happened to him. it was far worse than what they expected. soonyoung and wonwoo clenched their teeth, while junhui choked back his tears.

 “you can stay here as long as you want, hoonie.” junhui said, wrapping his arms around jihoon.

 jihoon simply nodded, while wonwoo whispered that he was going to prepare the guest room. “are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital hoon? they could catch those bastards...they may do it to another person…” junhui said, running his long fingers through jihoon’s hair.

 “...it may be for the best but i doubt they’ll find them…” he said. “we’ll go with you...we probably won’t be able to be in the room with you but we’ll wait for you.”

 jihoon hummed, before nodding. it was for the best. he’d have to give a call to the station and ask for officer kim to be there for the reports. he wanted to shower, blood and semen caking his jeans to his bottom.

 “lets go…” he sighed softly. junhui called for his partner, the younger walking in with sheets and a pillow.

 “we gotta bring him to the hospital. contact officer kim and ask him to meet us at the hospital.” soonyoung said, standing up.

 

it was going to be a long night


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weeks go by since that day...jihoon scares his brother and his best friend and then talks with both of them. some strange thing start to happen, strange things that he can't even explain to himself. 
> 
> WARNING: There will be a violent dream, and I'll put it in the chapter itself, and then when it'll end, so that if you wish you can skip the dream part.

the process after the hospital visit was difficult.

jihoon wasn’t himself. he was more closed off, an empty shell of himself. 28 days had gone by since the assault. he hasn’t left his apartment since the third day. he had tried to go back to his normal routine in hopes that it’d distract him...it was hard.

so soonyoung had called in sick for him. 

he had also called his family back home, which prompted his little brother to move in with him. it was difficult the first few days, everyone was walking around on eggshells around him, like he was a ticking time bomb.

jihoon sighed as he pulled the blanket tighter over his shoulders.

the pain of that night had faded, but all that was left was an empty shell of himself. he wasn’t as snarky towards his friends and brother, he stopped writing his lyrics, stopped going out all together. he was on edge. every sound had him jumping. every laughter from the his opened window had him wincing. their laughter...their scents...the fucking pain.

the first few days were hell for jihoon. he had tests taken, blood drawn and was prescribed a morning after pill.

when he was released, he holed himself up in his room. he wasn’t getting much sleep, wasn’t eating. that was when the thoughts of cutting himself started to form. it should have scared him, the thought of hurting himself but the mental and emotional pain was too much.

he knew that he was taking it too far when he tried looking for a razor, when he had thought soonyoung and chan were going to be longer than 10 minutes when grabbing some groceries.

he had assured them that he was going to be fine during the time they were gone, that he could just take a nap. so the moment the door closed he made his way to the bathroom and started looking through the drawers. he tossed a couple items around, searching through his toiletry bag, and then chan’s.

he hadn’t heard the door open, nor his brother calling for him, saying he forgot his debit card.

chan had heard rustling and low curses coming from the bathroom. he slowly made his way to the bathroom, and opened the door. there was a mess on the counter, items strewn about, his brother cursing, a desperate glint in his eyes.

“where’s the fucking razor!” jihoon had growled, reaching under the sink. there, hidden behind the toilet paper and several cleaning bottles, was the pack of razors. before he could grab them, there was a hand over his own. he looked up, eyes wide with fear.

“what the hell ji hyung! what do you need razors for other than shaving?!” the younger hadn’t yelled but he raised his voice. chan was fucking terrified at what jihoon could use the razors for.

jihoon pulled away from chan, biting his bottom lip. the doctor’s had warned chan that jihoon, that with depression and anxiety, would have dangerous thoughts of self harm or worse, suicide, but he had hoped his brother wouldn’t go through with it. “answer me!” chan sobbed. jihoon winced, looking at the ground.

“i thought you were going to the store, chan.” he said. he didn’t want to have this conversation.

“don’t avoid the question lee jihoon, were you going to cut yourself?” chan persisted, wiping his eyes. he was furious, and scared.

jihoon didn’t answer.

“i’m calling soonyoung hyung.” chan pulled his phone out. before he could input his password the device was snatched out of his hand.

“don’t think about it lee chan.” jihoon snapped. it was bad enough that his brother had caught him trying to look for razors, he didn’t want soonyoung to know. “he can’t know, chan.” he whispered.

“hyung, this is going too far! you aren’t eating, and when you do you only take two bites before you start gagging! you’re like a zombie! the lee jihoon i know wouldn’t even consider cutting himself! i know things are hard, hyung...but hurting yourself isn’t going to solve anything. i’m telling soonyoung hyung, we don’t want anything to happen to you. it’s so fucking hard seeing you like this, we want our lee jihoon back” chan said, voice breaking.

jihoon scrubbed at his eyes, before walking by his brother and into his room.

he lays down on his bed, back facing the door and went to sleep. he wasn’t sure how much time had went by, but the next time he opened his eyes, there was a warm body pressed up against his back, arms wrapped around him. the familiar scent of mint and chocolate filling his nose.

soonyoung.

he turned in his best friend’s arms, taking in the sight of him. it was dark, but the light that shone through from the moon provided enough for him to really look at soonyoung.

there were dried tear marks on his cheeks, eyebrows scrunched up as if he were troubled even in a deep sleep. jihoon’s heart twisted. he did this. he caused his brother and his best friend pain.

 

* * *

  
  
he checked the time, and realized it was 4 in the morning. he slept more than 12 hours. he sighed softly and gently extracted himself from soonyoung before standing up and heading to the kitchen

it was still too early for his brother and best friend to wake up, so he decided on a light breakfast.

he grabbed an apple and a glass of water before making his way to the living room. he sat down and turned the t.v on, flicking through the channels while nibbling on the apple. as he was about to switch from the news channel to another one, a BREAKING NEWS came across the screen.

a male reporter appeared, looking grim.

“this is not the content that many will not like, but it is the content that everybody needs to hear. earlier tonight a female body was found in an alley by a couple walking home from the bar. the young woman was crudely hidden by some pallets and garbage bags, beaten and allegedly raped. by the time help arrived it was too late, and she was pronounced dead on arrival. it is undetermined if she was a beta or omega, but we will keep everyone updated on her case after she is identified by her family,” he said, the camera panning from the reporter to the crime scene, a black sheet held up by metal rods covering the gruesome scene.

“we have yet to get a comment from chief of police, but we will be following up once we get more details.” the man said, bowing slightly.

the camera showed more of the scene before it cut back to news room.

jihoon switched off the tv, wrapping his arms around his legs. it wasn’t uncommon for omegas, betas and the rare alpha, to be found beaten and sexually assaulted. it happened more than people thought but there was a sense of danger following this report. there wasn’t much told about the young girl. mostly everyone could tell right away if she were a beta or an omega but not knowing either could mean she was 15 and under.

so fucking young! jihoon thought to himself. what fucking monster would rape and kill someone so young? someone who probably had a good life ahead of her, someone who wanted to be something, someone who had a family waiting for her to return home. someone who’s final resting place would be in a casket six feet underneath the ground.

jihoon was surprised at the amount of rage he felt for that poor girl. he wanted nothing more than to go and find that monster and tear his neck apart.

well now what the hell was that?

where were these violent thoughts coming from? jihoon sighed and tossed the remnants of his apple into the compost  before going back to his room. he needed more sleep.

_ but you know you’re right _ a voice that oddly sounds like his own says. jihoon shuts that voice in a locked part of his mind, and lies next to soonyoung, inhaling his comforting scent and pressing up against his back.

he wasn’t quite ready to be the little spoon, but this was fine. he knew soonyoung and chan, and the rest of his family and friends were safe, that they would never hurt him like those...monsters did. he sighed, cuddling closer to the other omega. it took a bit for him to go back to sleep but it was surprisingly faster than the other nights, where he tossed and turned, back to the wall, eyeing the door, the window, and silently crying before exhaustion took over the next morning.

the last thing he remembered was soonyoung’s mint and chocolate scent, the news report of the young girl, and that nagging voice demanding to be let out.

 

* * *

 

the next time jihoon opened his eyes, he was alone. he sat up with a slight panic, looking around and spotting his best friend at his desk, hunched over an open book and laptop. jihoon sighed and ruffled his hair.

the older turned to look at him, eyes unreadable.

“you know we’re going to have to have that talk jihoon. no sense in avoiding it.”

jihoon nodded with a resigned sigh before sitting on the edge of his bed. he didn’t like this, and he didn’t know where this conversation was going to lead them, if it was going to ruin their life long friendship. it terrified him but he knew it had to happen sooner or later. he’d have preferred later but beggars can’t be choosers.

“what the hell were you thinking, hoonie?” soonyoung asked, voice on the verge of breaking. the older omega was almost always happy, he was the mood maker, always making everyone around him smile and laugh. always lightened the a gloomy room with his ridiculous jokes, and his laughter. to hear the resident happy virus sound so...sad broke jihoon’s heart even more.

jihoon cleared his throat. he didn’t know what to say, so he said the first thing that popped into his mind.

“i couldn’t take the pain anymore...it hurt every day, from the moment they violated me, to even now. i didn’t want to feel empty and feel that...emotional pain. i’m fully physically healed but the emotional and mental trauma are still there, soon. for fuck sakes i can’t even walk out the damn door without having a full blown panic attack. what those monsters did to me, what they inflicted on me, will always be with me. so i wanted to feel a different type of pain, as hard as it is to hear and say.” jihoon was sobbing now. he would have thought that the tears would stop, it had been almost a full 3 days since he cried.

“every fucking day it’s a struggle to even get out of bed, to even eat a single meal, to remember to drink water or even shower. it’s a struggle to remind myself that what happened to me wasn’t my fault, that it was bad timing and those monster’s fault. it’s a struggle to accept platonic touches because every single moment i feel their filthy hands pawing at my skin, i feel their breaths on my neck, see their eyes in my mind, feel  _ them inside me.  _ i’m not the same person i was 4 weeks ago soon,” jihoon holds onto his chest, his breath hitching.

he feels arms wrap around him, the strong yet soothing scent of chocolate mint filling his chaotic mind. he registers broken sobs and panicked breathing. fuck. he made soonyoung cry.

“i’m sorry hoonie, i’m sorry..shhhh, it’s okay. take deep breaths. follow my breathing hoon.” then it hits him. it’s him that’s sobbing… it’s him that’s breathing erratically.

it takes several moments before jihoon matches his breathing to soonyoung’s exaggerated ones. “i’m so fucking tired of this soonie.” jihoon whispers, clutching onto his shirt. he feels the older’s hands ghosting over his back.

“we’ll help you… we’re here for you jihoonie.” soonyoung says. “we’ll get you through this, just get some sleep now and we’ll try eat when you wake up, okay?” he continues to rub soothing circles onto jihoon’s back.

jihoon nods before he lies down, feeling rather exhausted.

the moment his head hits his pillow he’s out like a light. normally he’d dream of the assault, or of nothing. those are a blessing sometimes.

[WARNING: THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE VIOLENT DREAM JIHOON HAS] this time he was standing over someone with crimson hair. the fear registered in his unconscious mind but he couldn’t wake up. but the whole scene was odd. the red haired man was cowering from him, his lips were moving but no sounds could be heard. it was like he had very good ear plugs in.

the next thing that registered in his unconscious mind was the feeling of cool metal in his right hand, and the way the alpha was using his arms to crawl away from jihoon. his dream self looked down.

“ _ how pathetic.” dream jihoon snarled, twirling the metal bat around in his hand. he nudged the alpha’s broken leg with the end of the bat, and grinned when he shouted in pain. _

_ “please, no don’t do this.” the alpha begged. _

_ “why should i stop? huh? why should i stop when you and your pals ignored me and my pleas for you to stop?” jihoon shouted, raising the bat and bringing it down onto his arm, hearing a sickening snap and then another scream of pain. “i’m going to show you the same mercy you showed me, the night you left me there, bleeding and broken. but this time...you won’t be alive.” jihoon said. _

_ he raised the bat once more, this time striking his other arm. by now he was immune to the screams of pain and terror, to the pleas for the monster’s pathetic life. _

_ by the time jihoon was done, the alpha was a mangled bloody mess, face swollen and unrecognizable. jihoon reached a hand down, checking for a pulse. it was low but it wouldn’t be long before he bled to death. [END OF DREAM] _

 

jihoon shot up, body drenched with sweat and shaking violently. he gagged before choking it back. what the actual fuck was that about? 

jihoon used to pinch and hit his friends and brother when ever they teased him about his unfortunate height. but not once had he ever thought of killing someone, especially so violently. he’d playfully make death threats but that’s all they were...playful.

he  shuddered and got out of bed, glancing at the clock on his bedside. it read 3:19. he slept for 8 hours.

he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. a shower. he needed a shower.

_ imagine what it’d feel in real life.  _ that voice whispered.  _ shut up.  _ jihoon growled back. he couldn't think about this right now. not with his brain a whole mess of emotions.

_ suit yourself. you know where to find me  _ the voice replied. jihoon growled and stormed into the bathroom. great. now he was hearing a voice inside his head. just what he needed. not. he grabbed a towel and turned on the shower. he hopped in and let the water soothe over his body, and wash away the sticky sweat.

he grabbed his favourite peach scented body wash, and began to scrub the remnants of the sweat and grime off. the routine felt normal. wash his body, shampoo his hair before putting and leaving the conditioner in while he shaved or cleansed his face. today seemed to be a shaving day. he went through the process of putting the shaving cream on, and using the razor to shave away the facial hair.

once that was done he rinsed his hair, standing there until there was no more conditioner.

he shut the water off and got out, drying off and wrapping the towel around his waist before going back to his room.

the shower seemed to have soothed his frazzled nerves. he was able to think clearly and process the dream he had. what did it mean? did it even have a meaning? he never once had a dream of killing someone, had dreams of dying or someone close dying but never once had he dreamt of that.

he pulled out clean clothes, unwrapping the towel to place over his head. he pulled his clothes on and went to the kitchen, absentmindedly drying his hair off. he most certainly couldn’t tell his brother or friends about what he dreamt of. they would have him going to a therapist. not that he would mind but he didn’t want to tell them what for. which was what? that he was gang raped by 2 betas and an alpha? that he dreamt of killing the alpha and secretly enjoyed it? he would be put in a mental hospital.

_ so just keep your mouth shut.  _ the voice said. “okay, i’m getting real tired of this shit. shut up.” jihoon said out loud.

“you okay jihoon?” a confused chan asks, looking at his older brother from the kitchen. “who are you talking to?”

“myself. sorry.” he says, ignoring the double meaning behind his statement as well as the snickering voice in his head. “also...i want to apologize for what happened yesterday, chan. i...wasn’t thinking. it was stupid of me, and i’m so sorry you had to see that side of me. i can’t promise it won’t happen again but i’ll do my best.” he said, wrapping both arms around his brother.

he feels the hesitation in chan before he feels the younger’s arms wrap around his body. “i am doing my best...it just gets hard sometimes...it’s not something someone recovers from so easily but i am doing my best,” he whispers. he can feel his brother shaking slightly, sniffling slightly.

“i’m sorry too hoonie. i just get so worried for you…” he says. it hadn’t been easy to see someone so strong look so empty and frail these last 4 weeks, it was even harder because it was his brother. his snarky and sometimes violent brother who had a mean pinch. he feels a phantom twinge in his arm from the time he had hid his brother’s wallet in cupboard on the very top shelf.

“we’ll get through this together, chan…” jihoon whispers, exhaling shakily. it was going to take some time, but he could do it. he’d probably have to get some serious therapy done, most likely get chan and soonyoung to go as well. they’ll talk more about it later on.

“how about we get some take out from your favorite place down the street yeah?” jihoon suggests. seeing his little brothers face stretch into a big smile was something he had missed. something he hadn’t seen in a long while. right then he vowed to make sure his brother always had this smile for as long as possible. jihoon smiled back as he grabbed the menu and dialled the number. it would hopefully be his saving grace.

_ for now...just you wait lee jihoon…  _ the voice said, making jihoon frown. he ignored it in favor of ordering chan’s favorites and a smaller portion for himself. he hung up after confirming his address and number. it was going to be a long day. well evening. he sighed softly and sat down.

he grabbed his laptop and opened it. once it was booted up he logged into his user account. might as well see what the world was up to.

he logged into his twitter account, and saw multiple notifications and even more messages. but what caught his attention was the trending now column. the number 3 most trending hashtag was jane doe’s case. seems that there’s more updates.

jihoon clicked on it, and was brought to another page, where there were multiple tweets.

her name was ahn miyeon, 14 years old. her parents had been notified late last night after they reported her as missing after she hadn’t returned home the night before.

she had a promising life ahead of her, had taken a liking to fashion, was hoping that she could become a famous designer first in Korea before branching out to all of Asia and then the world. she had an older brother and two younger twin sisters. 

it was reported that she had had more than one assaulters, that she had died from internal bleeding from the many blows to her ribcage. #justiceforahnmiyeon was starting to trend, and he felt that she deserved more.

jihoon could feel his blood boiling. what kind of monster would take someone so young, so full of promise. he slammed his laptop shut and pushed it away from him.  

_ you know where i am jihoon _ the voice said, and jihoon shivered. another day. for now he had to be with his family. he had to think more, follow the case on miyeon. his heart hurt for her family, his mind contradicting it. he wanted blood, not just any. he wanted her attacker’s blood. 

 

but another time...another day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's been a while. thank you for reading, and the voice jihoon is hearing will be a vital part of the story. it will be an alter ego he sub-consciously created, woozi. as the story progresses 'woozi' will be making appearances, and will in ways aid him in his killing the 'monsters' aka the rapists. 
> 
> if you liked this, please leave kudos, comments because i need some validation that i'm kind of doing an okay job with the first two chapters. 
> 
> again, thank you for reading, and i'll try update sooner than two months.


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahn miyeon's case just got strange. her best friend goes missing, and jihoon kills his first person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE. MINOR CHARACTER DEATH. SLIGHT DESCRIPTIVE RAPE. Also Woozi officially names 'himself' I hope this is making sense. 
> 
> ALSO. WHAT IS THIS? I actually updated faster than expected? 5 days after updating the last chapteR??? WOW. So yeah Hi. again. This is a first for me in a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time. Again I'll put a warning before and after the scenes.

a couple of days have gone by, and some strange occurrences happen since miyeon’s body has been found. the young girl’s friend has disappeared, no one has seen or heard from her since the day after miyeon was murdered. and to top it off earlier that morning there was a report coming in from the police department. 

_ the camera had zoomed into the chief of police, face stoic yet his mouth was set in a frown.  _

_ “at approximately 5:30 this morning we received a package. there was no return address, no prints or any type of dna. inside the package was a pair of ripped undergarments, a letter with a very graphic photograph of the deceased victim, ahn miyeon. at this moment we can not give any further details on the photograph or the letter. although we are receiving many tips, almost all have lead to a dead end. our detective’s kim mingyu and yoon jeonghan are searching through hours of cctv footage across the street from the alley ms. jung was found, but so far nothing has been found.” the man says, the title banner reading chief kim junggu. he looked down at his notes before looking back up. _

_ “another unfortunate event has happened. jung jisoo, ms. ahn’s friend, has gone missing. it appears to have been a break in gone wrong. we are urging anyone with information on ms. ahn’s and ms. jung’s case to call crime stoppers or the police department. we promise that if you wish to stay anonymous that you will.” he finishes before stepping away. _

_ the camera panned to a tired looking man, who looked vaguely familiar. officer kim. this wasn’t something that happened frequently, so it was understandable that he was tired. the camera cut off and the news reporter appeared before jihoon shut the tv off.  _

which brought jihoon to where he is now...searching twitter for more information on both young ladies. there were many speculations and theories on what happened to miyeon. many thought that her and her friends were at a bar, which was debunked rather quickly. miyeon and jisoo were with their group of friends, who vouched for their location the night miyeon was assaulted and murdered. they had gone to watch a movie, went for dinner and some shopping at myeongdong, before going their separate ways. 

a tweet from the police department appeared while jihoon was scrolling through his tl. 

BREAKING: TWO POSSIBLE SUSPECTS HAVE BEEN FOUND IN THE CCTV FOOTAGE; TWO TALL MALE’S.

attached were two screen shots of the men. one was wearing a hoodie, the other a leather jacket with a cap on top of his head. despite the attempt at hiding their faces, they could clearly be seen. 

jihoon switched the tv on, biting his bottom lip as he searched through the channel’s. if they had released a post, then surely they’d be covering it on t.v. 

it took a few minutes but jihoon was able to find the right station. 

“-new development on ahn miyeon’s case. last week 14 year old ahn miyeon was found in a myeongdong alley at 7:39 am by a couple who were going for breakfast, beaten, sexually assaulted and murdered. nothing has been found until very recently. the police department sent out copies of the cctv footage of the alleged suspects of her murder.” the news reporter said.

it cut to the footage. on the screen were two men following miyeon and jisoo, the two girls talking and laughing with each other, unaware of the danger following them. one man had strong facial features, he was slim and was wearing a black hoodie, black jeans and appeared to have dark hair. the second man was bulky, more tanned than the other. he was wearing a brown leather jacket, dark wash jeans and a black shirt. his cap was black, hair a light shade of brown. 

multiple photos appeared on the screen, in various angles. the darker haired male had a strong jawline, sharp eyebrows and piercing eyes. jihoon commited his face to memory. the other man had a brow piercing, almond shaped eyes and a tall straight nose. his grinning face gave jihoon the chills. 

he turned off the t.v and shut his laptop off. he felt sick. he felt anger. chan and soonyoung were out, the older having to go back to work at a dance studio not too far from where he lived, and chan went out for a few errands. 

jihoon sighed. it had been almost a month since his assault, but being inside constantly made him feel trapped...more anxious. so with  shuddery sigh he stood up and grabbed a jacket, his keys and pulled his shoes on. he left a note for chan and soonyoung, saying that he needed to go for a drive, that he was okay and had his phone before leaving his apartment. 

the moment he got into the elevator he felt his chest tighten, his body break out into a cold sweat, and his heart beating wildly in his chest. he gripped onto the railing, taking deep breaths. the seconds go by, and then the doors open with a ding. jihoon glances around, the hallway empty. no danger. no intimidating alphas or betas to harm him. jihoon took another deep breath before walking out of the elevator before the doors closed. 

he walked out of the apartment complex and into the streets. it was taxing to be out in the open without his brother or one of his best friends, terrifying even but jihoon knew he had to do it at some point, and the thought of going back to the apartment with the loud silence made him want to rip his hair out. 

so with that thought jihoon walked to his car, which had been brought to him by chan. he opened the door and got in. he pulled out of the parking lot and drove around. he focused on the speed limit, on the traffic lights and then the pedestrians walking from one end of the cross-walk to the other. it kept his mind off the anxious invading thoughts. 

at one traffic light, a red one, he was looking around, counting to himself how long they were sitting there. there was a white mercedes to his left. the driver was looking ahead, but his features were noticeable. he looked familiar. tanned skin, tall straight nose. his hair was blonde, but when he turned to look at jihoon, as if sensing his gaze, jihoon knew. it was the man who had possibly assaulted ahn miyeon. 

he had a smug look, and before jihoon could even blink, the light turned green, and the man was driving off. jihoon could feel his blood boiling. how dare he. how dare he act like nothing was wrong, when he had possibly committed a crime so wrong that many people wanted him hung by his balls. 

jihoon pressed his foot on the accelerator, keeping an eye on the white vehicle. he made sure that there was at least 2 more cars ahead of him so as to not look suspicious. 

he trailed after the man, following him to almost the outskirts of the city, to an abandoned warehouse. jihoon waited for a few minutes after the man exited his benz, and walked into the warehouse. 

after it was apparent that the an didn’t see him, jihoon got out of his car, and silently made his way into the building. the moment he opened the door, his nose was assaulted with the sickening and familiar scent of blood and fear. he looked around, eyeing the area for any items he could use for a weapon. a steel pipe. 

he silently walked over, freezing when he hears cries of pain. a young female.

**(THIS IS WHERE IT BEGINS)**

 

“please, no more.” the girl says. there’s a slap and a gasping sob. this was insane, jihoon should step outside and call the police. 

_ or you could handle it yourself, jihoon.  _ the voice said. jihoon bit his bottom lip. before he could debate any further, another cry of pain is heard and that was enough for jihoon to make up his mind. he followed the girl’s cries, leading him to an open area with a dirty mattress in the middle of the room. on the mattress was jung jisoo, bloodied and beaten, hair a matted mess and completely naked. on top of her was the man. 

jihoon silently growled, his steps picking up their pace. without another thought he raises the pipe, the shocked look of the alpha barely registering in his mind. he swings the pipe down, cracking it over his head and instantly knocking the alpha out. jisoo sobs in fear, shaking her head. 

jihoon looks down in horror. he drops the pipe and falls to the ground. there’s muddled sobs and pleas, before jihoon comes back.

“-please sir, help me.” jisoo hiccups. jihoon nods numbly, and with a heaving push and shove, maybe a few kicks, jihoon was able to get the man off the young teenager. before he could do anything more, jisoo is in his arms, the girl releasing heart wrenching sobs as she buries her face in his shoulder. he walks back, keeping an arm over her shoulders and his eyes on the unconscious man before them. 

“thank you, thank you.” she cries over and over. jihoon doesn’t reply. he pulls back, and takes in the state of jisoo. hickies littered her body, bite marks here and there, though thankfully none deep enough to be considered mating marks. blood dripped down her thighs, and her face was far worse. her right eye was swollen shut, her lips bloodied, bruised and swollen. her left cheek was swollen, blood oozing from a small gash on the apple of her cheek. 

jihoon felt the rage building within him. how could someone do something so horrible to another human being, let alone someone so young and innocent. he looked around. jisoo’s panties, pj pants and tank top lay torn next to the mattress. he grabs her bottoms and top, handing them to her. “put these on, go wait in my car. keep the door locked, and if anything happens, honk the horn.” jihoon says, turning away to let the girl have some sense of privacy. he looks at the alpha, blood dripping from a cut above his eyebrow.

after a few moments he looks back, and jisoo is hesitating. “go. i’ll be right there.” he says. she hesitates for a few more seconds before she’s running out of the warehouse. he looks back at the alpha, before glancing around. a chair is in the corner, and dead wires are on the floor. jihoon walks to the chair and wires, before dragging them over to the unconscious alpha. with some difficulty he manages to get the alpha on the chair before he gets to work on tying him to it. 

he makes sure to tie his torso to the back of the chair, and tie his arms and legs up. once he was confident that the alpha wasn’t getting loose at all, he reached down and grabbed the pipe. jihoon paces back and forth. he could feel the anxiety, but he knew that if he sent this alpha to the police he could use whatever money he had to get him off with a slap on the wrist.

but could he really kill this man? no. not man. monster. 

the images of jisoo being assaulted, sobbing so brokenly flitted through jihoon’s mind. jihoon growls and brings the pipe down on his thigh bone, flinching only slightly when it jolts the alpha awake with a howl of pain.

jihoon could feel a change overcome him, his heart hardening, mind becoming blank, leaving only pure rage building up. 

“oh, sorry did i wake you?” jihoon says, and even the tone of his voice sounded different to him. more gravely. 

the alpha pants heavily from the pain, sweat dripping down his temple. “who the fuck are you?” he asks, body shuddering with every move he made.

“not important right now.” jihoon said, lifting the pipe and resting it underneath the alpha’s chin. “what is important though, is why you took jung jisoo. why did you take a girl who isn’t legal, who hasn’t even presented?” he asks, moving the pipe to nudge at the alpha’s broken thigh bone. the alpha bites back another noise of pain, shaking violently. “why hurt her physically and mentally when she was already hurting emotionally after her best friend of 10 years was found, raped and murdered the night before? hm?” jihoon brings the pipe done on his other thigh, this time blocking out the part of his brain that would have had him flinching as the alpha howled yet again.

“you are the worst of the worst criminals out there.” jihoon continues. “and i’m not going to show you the mercy you didn’t show jung jisoo.” the omega growled, before continuing his assault on the alpha. a blow to his kneecaps, to his midsection, and many more to various body parts, his groin area in particular, before landing a killing blow to his throat, crushing his esophagus. 

blood drips from the pipe, the scent of it even stronger than before. jihoon shudders, glancing down at the now dead alpha, before turning back. a thought pops into his head, and he uses the left over blood to write on the ground. 

**(THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS)**

  
‘You’re next.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please leave kudos if you liked this update, also please leave a comment!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jihoon brings jisoo to the hospital and news of her safe albeit confusing return is reported.

jihoon walks out of the warehouse. he doesn’t make it 5 ft before he’s on his knees, retching. he just killed someone. his blood is literally on his hands, his mangled and bloodied body is very fresh in his mind. but he could feel that voice vibrate with pride. 

_ just one less monster in this horrible world.  _ the voice says. 

jihoon ignores the voice, and before he could do anymore, he throws up there and then on the asphalt, ignoring the  _ weak  _ remark the voice made. 

jihoon takes a shaky breath before standing up and making his way to his car. the girl was hugging her knees to her chest. 

he softly knocks on the window, jumping slightly when the girl screams, eyes wide as she takes in the sight of a bloody jihoon. she scrambles to unlock the door, words stumbling together as she tries to ask him what happened, and if he was hurt.

“he won’t hurt you anymore.” he says, popping open the trunk. he walks to the trunk and throws the pipe in. he grabs a dirty rag and wipes off the blood as best as he could. 

he sighs and walks to the driver’s side, getting in and shutting the door. “you’re safe.” he tells jisoo before starting his car and pulling out of the abandoned parking lot. 

“i’m going to drop you off at the hospital, i can’t bring you in myself but i’ll keep an eye on you until you are inside. from there, you are going to say you managed to get free from your attacker’s, but you cannot give them the location. they cannot know that he is dead. let them believe that they are hiding out, that they talked about fleeing the country to avoid sexual assault and murder charges.” jihoon instructs, weaving through traffic and just barely passing yellow lights in order to get the girl medical help as quick as possible. 

“you cannot tell them about me, please.” jihoon begs her, stopping at a red light to finally get a good glimpse of jisoo.

the girl has dried tear marks on her grimy cheek, before she nods silently. 

“what’s your name?” she asks him timidly. he freezes, nibbling his bottom lip.  _ woozi _ the voice says, and jihoon blinks.

“woozi.” he replies after a few moments. they don’t say anything more during the rest of the drive. jihoon stops about a block away from the hospital, making sure no one saw them. “you’re safe now, jisoo.” jihoon repeats his earlier words. “once i’m clean of the blood and the media has calmed down, i’ll check on you.” he says, watching as the girl stepped out of his car. 

“why?” she asks. 

“i was in the same situation just last month...i know what it felt like to be...violated so violently.” jihoon says, smiling sadly. the girl tears up before nodding.

“thank you, woozi.” she whispers, shutting the door. jihoon sits and watches, engine idly running. once she’s out of sight, and in the general area of the hospital, jihoon drives off. he drives around mindlessly before stopping. how was he going to explain his long absence, how was he going to explain the strong scent of blood and terror in his car? he sighed heavily and drives back to his apartment. 

he’ll think about what to do and say when the time comes. he glances at the dashboard clock and realizes he had been gone for almost half the day, just mindlessly driving around. ‘fuck’ he thinks before parking in his usual spot and gets out, running up the stairs after making sure he looked at least decent and then locking his doors.

he climbs the stairs two steps at a time. he didn’t want to risk bumping into someone who could question him. it didn’t take long before he was in his apartment, the sounds of worried chatter coming from his kitchen. “jihoon, is that you?” a very worried chan asks.

“yes, chan. i’m just going to take a shower, i’m fine.” jihoon says, running into his room and then into the ensuite bathroom. it was one of the things he loved about his small but decent apartment. he strips off his clothes, and stuffs them into the bottom of the hamper. he’d have to do his laundry later on in the night.

he hops into the shower, turning it on. he hissed slightly as the water went from cold to mildly hot. he had hoped that chan and soonyoung were held up, that he’d have time to gather his thoughts on what had just happened. he had just killed someone. violently so. 

_ but he was a monster...he killed someone else. he and his accomplice raped and held this girl’s friend for days. by killing him, jihoon, you could have saved many more from suffering the fate of jisoo and miyeon.  _ woozi said, and jihoon shook his head. he still could have gone to the police, he could have.  _ but you didn’t.  _ jihoon growled and went on with his routine. wash hair, rinse hair, wash body, rinse body. shave. get out, dry off. he wraps the towel around his waist and walks out of the bathroom.

he wasn’t surprised to see his brother and best friend sitting on his bed. 

“just give me a moment to get dressed before you question me.” jihoon says, grabbing clean clothes, which was a simple white t, grey sweatpants and his favorite comfortable boxer briefs. “unless you want to see my backside please go wait in the living room or kitchen.” he says, glancing at the duo. they scramble up and silently walk out of jihoon’s bedroom. 

jihoon sighs and takes the towel off before dressing. 

now...to face chan and soonyoung. it wasn’t like jihoon to just take off, especially without one of the two, or one of their other friends. jihoon had realized that he had really lost himself since the assault. and quite frankly, he missed the normal routine he had. college, work, friends, the occasional party/bar or club hopping. he thought of the friends he made through college, the fun he had with them. in fact the close circle of friends he had were planning a week vacation to the finland. they had planned to book several cabins for the kakslauttanen. he sighed, one day. he then realized, not influenced by the voice in anyway, that he was absolutely tired of being the victim. 

he missed doing the things he used to without having to worry he was going to get attacked at any opportunity. so with that he walked out of his bedroom and into the living room. no one was there so they must have gone to the kitchen. he turns and heads to the kitchen, finding chan sitting on at the table while soonyoung was grabbing something from the fridge. 

chan looks up with raised eyebrows. “where were you hoon? we were so worried for you, you didn’t answer your phone, you didn’t respond to our text messages.” he says, picking at his cuticles. 

“i know..i left a note, but i didn’t realize my phone was less than at half charge and i didn’t realize i was going to take so long.” he said, sitting down. it was half truth. his phone did die when he checked it earlier in the bathroom, now sitting on his nightstand, charging. 

“i promise i’m okay. i just needed to clear my mind...i didn’t do anything, it was just hard being in the apartment with the loud silence.” he says, rubbing his ear and playing with the stud there. it was true for the most part but he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell his brother that he had just killed someone an hour prior. 

“okay, just..please text us.” soonyoung says, wrapping an arm around jihoon. the smaller of the three simply nods and leans against his best friend. 

“i’m making ramyun, why don’t you two go watch t.v or a movie while i finish up?” chan says while making his way to the kitchen. soonyoung and jihoon flop down on the couch. he felt tired but alert at the same time, and it was messing with his senses. every sound had him jumping yet with every passing moment he felt his eyes grow heavier.

soonyoung was flipping through the channels, when he stopped on the news channel. they were in the middle of talking about the latest controversy within the kpop industry when they were cut off by one of the producers.

for a moment everything was silent before the breaking news clip played. moments later a reporter was standing in front of seoul national university hospital. 

“a couple of nights ago we had urged citizens to call the seoul police department if they had any tips on ahn miyeon’s assault and murder and the kidnapping of jung jisoo. now we bring news that jung jisoo is alive and well, recovering from multiple assaults at seoul national university hospital. we haven’t been able to interview her or her parents, but we will be updating once we get the full report. but from what we learned, jung jisoo appeared at the hospital, beaten and bloodied but otherwise fine. more to come at 7 O’Clock tonight.” the reporter said, before they went back to the newsroom.

jihoon silently sighed to himself. the girl was fine. who knows how she was going to be in the next week or so but she safely made it to the hospital and was getting the proper treatment. 

he made a mental note to send her flowers and a get well card. 

“i’m glad she’s okay, i just hope they catch those fuckers who did this to her and her friend.” soonyoung growls. jihoon stares at his best friend. it was rare to see soonyoung so worked up about something, and when he was mad he was  _ mad.  _ it was hard to rile soonyoung up but he gets scary when he’s mad. 

jihoon hums softly and leans his head against the older, patting his thigh. “they’ll get what’s coming to them…” he murmurs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's been three months since the last update and i apologize. i've had this chapter written up, but it hasn't been touched since april. i was pretty much busy in the last month raising and saving up money for the nct127 concert in vancouver may 19th. this was my first and definitely NOT my last kpop concert, i had so much fun. i can't wait for them to come back, and i hope i get better seats next time! but now the chapter is up and i'm currently writing chapter 5, and in that chapter i finally introduce seungcheol. i hope to have this chapter up sooner than three months, and if you've been here since the beginning thank you for sticking around, if you are new, thank you for reading. please leave a comment, give this kudos.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry that i didn't add this A/N here, i wasn't thinking and i'm sorry if you got a notification of an update on this. i'm currently writing chapter 2 right now and will put it up once i'm done writing it. it's going to be a filler chapter, just on how jihoon is in the story, and how he's trying to cope. but anyway onto the end note.
> 
> if you have suffered from a sexual assault attack, i'm sorry you were triggered. i can only put so much on here, but here is the help line + crisis information for the U.S
> 
> RAINN // Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network  
> 1-800-656-HOPE  
> If you live in the US, calling this number will connect you to a rape crisis center near you. It is free and confidential. If you want to call a center directly, click here to find rape crisis centers in your area. RAINN also provides confidential crisis counseling online for rape and sexual abuse survivors in the US and internationally. Please click here for more information.
> 
> S.A.F.E Alternatives // Self-Harm Prevention + Support  
> 1-800-DON'T-CUT (366-8288)
> 
> Suicide Hotline  
> 1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433)
> 
> The Gay & Lesbian National Hotline  
> 1-800-THE-GLNH
> 
> Domestic Violence Hotline  
> 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
> 
> Men's Domestic Abuse Helpline  
> 1-888-HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754)
> 
> National Child Sexual Abuse Helpline  
> 1-866-FOR-LIGHT (866-367-5444)
> 
> to check for international help go to this link https://www.theloudercoalition.com/helplines-crisis/. i for some reason cannot hyperlink the site ~~why yes i know how, and no i did not google it...hush~~ but copy and paste to your search bar, and for the mobile readers, hold down on the link, highlight it and then copy and past.


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